More ScAlito Blogging

Back from the break...

Kyl: Aren't there different kinds of liberty? And doesn't someone lose out?

ScAlito: Yep.

I think I just saw a shocking admission of moral relativism from a conservative. The fundies should be howling by now. But furthermore, that's just a green light from ScAlito that he will be deciding in favor of someone's liberty, where someone will probably be male, corporate, and heavily powerful.

Kyl: Damn, you're smart and I like you. I'm going to spend the rest of my time proving that there are instances your 4000+ case history in which you don't fit the left wing stereotype. You've agreed with O'Connor before, therefore I'm sure you'll make a proper replacement.

Kohl: What's up with you? There's reasonable disagreement and then there's you. Don't you know about protecting right and individuals?

ScAlito: Well, the Constitution's awful general in some places and super specific in others. Although exactly how I'm not going to say.

Kohl: We can see your judicial philosophy in who you admire. In an interview, you said you'd like to pork Bork.

ScAlito: Well, I guess I'd pork him, but only on my terms. Roe is still touchy for us, and I don't like it when Bob gets fussy, and I'm trying to put on a show here. Also, I was just doing my job as a shill for a Republican administration with a deluded executive. I'd never do that again.

Kohl: Tradition values?

ScAlito: I love the 50s. There was a lot of crime in the 60s. Crime bad.

Kohl: It's pretty obvious you have no regard for average working men and women.

ScAlito: Based on a technicality in the law, I cannot.

Kohl: I know you don't like commenting on cases that might come up again, but what do you think about Bush v. Gore?

ScAlito: As you say, it stands against my principles, but I really have no idea because I don't know it. It really wasn't that big.

DeWine: Distortions of your record that differ from how we'd like to spin you and make you seem crazy bother me. I'm going to whine for a while. (Why are Republicans ashamed of themselves?) Anyone's record can be distorted, and it's not fair. (WTF is up with GOP moral relativism today?) I like you and would like to bear your children because you're so excellent. Now I'm going to ask you pointless questions that show off how large your brain is and how much knowledge it contains.

DeWine: Now I've got your back if you want to overturn Roe, I don't like it one bit. Super precedent also doesn't exist for things that aren't justified and that I don't like.

DeWine really is not shutting up and has been blathering for quite some time now.

DeWine: Stop being such a pussy and own up to your conservative cred. Now what about the power to stop porn from destroying our country?

ScAlito: Stop making me look bad. Ok, fine, the internet has changed everything, and I think we might have to enact sweeping powers to stop the internets. We also can't undermine parents who don't understand technology. Children need to learn their place. In the shed with them, now!

Feinstein: What do you think about the commerce clause? Specifically, Lopez?

ScAlito: I'm just going to dodge any real question you throw at me. See? Missed me.

Feinstein: What about abortion?

ScAlito: Well, it's complicated.

Feinstein: Care to elaborate?

ScAlito: Not really.

Sessions: Who's ready for some softball? Philosophy. Character. Now how about that now.